Guess What I am Doing Right Now. Really, Just Guess.

Men Don't Always Make Good Caregivers After Marriage.

Some don't even make good ones before getting married.

More wise words from a long-time friend. I should have known, though. I really should have. I am at day six post-op and can barely do much more than I could at day one or two, and that is most-likely due to the absence of horse tranquilizers in my system, which I have apparently built up a tolerance to, as well as my existing lower-back defect.

Oh. I am not looking for pity. No sir. I am basically just bored as hell and wanting desperately for something good to be on cable television. I quickly realized that isn't going to happen, and the best thing I have right now is watching Growing Up Polar Bears or gaping at Fox News (has now taken the place of the 700 Club) or watching 82-year old Playboy Tycoon and his three young blond girlfriends celebrate his latest birthday. Nothing.

So, I am lucky my husband actually left me the computer to write nonsense.

However, while I would normally feel like a useless bump on the log, I am actually vacuuming the house. While I lay in bed. Seriously. One of the best inventions in a while - the Rhumba. This cute little "vacuuming robot" (as we call it) is busy trolling around the house picking up all the little dust bunnies and sucking up all the stray little pieces of hardened playdough, while I lay here in bed watching some who-knows-how-the-hell-he-got-money talk about how only the rich people have coffered ceilings, 24 HD TVs, and round glass-and-chrome coffee tables in their "crib."

I want two of these machines. We'll name the next one "Hank."