Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Shoe Fetish.

Wha...? ME???!!

What was I thinking....

They were "HALF OFF," is what I was thinking. No matter the original price tag was $399. Do you think Mark would mind? More like, do you think Mark would kill me? Or even worse... divorce.

But they are so beauuuutful! And the rhinestones... oh, so divine! Just the right amount of glitz, you know.

And it doesn't help that I go there with a friend whom has a shopping addiction. I am certain she is there to egg me on. "You don't have to tell him until he sees the bill - then it will be too late to take them back," giggling nervously.

Where did all this come from? When did I start with this thing for shoes. And even more, why does anyone have such a thing for shoes? Heck, even Mark is constantly on the prowl for his perfect pair of shoes. Sometimes he wants to wear my shoes. (OK, he wants a pair like mine, but maybe I should have left that bit out altogether.)

Shoes are sexy. Shoes make you feel sexy. Agreed. But that doesn't really reveal any more of the mystery. Why do shoes make you feel sexy? Is is a cultural thing? Are we just so feeble-minded that we have been brainwashed to think that some super-supple dead animal skin on our painted trotters makes us incredibly irresistible? Is this like the Emperor's New Clothes? This love affair with shoes has no-doubt been around for a while, though....

Maybe it is a status thing. When you are able to brandish something so obviously expensive and new, day-after-day, surely you are of a higher caste, rank, class, whatever.

After viewing these bejeweled beauties in the store we walk outside and see a woman, legs crossed, wearing the same damn sandals I was just drooling over. She sees me... me eying her shoes. She looks at me, her shoes, then at me again, as if to say "Yup, I got'em. Aren't they LOVE-ly?" Bat-batting those pretty eyelashes. Bi-atch.

Never mind! Nevermind all the philosophy! Just give me that pair of $400 Pliner sandals! the $109 Linea Paolo 'Brayden' T-Strap Sandals in green! the $470 Taryn Rose 'Cheval' Oxfords! the $395 Anyi Lu 'Naomi' Pumps in pitone! (whatever THAT is!)! the $360 Anyi Lu 'Carrie' Pump in blush patent! the $375 Cole Haan Collection 'Sofia' Sandal in "luggage"! and even the $575 Stuart Weitzman 'Sargeant' Boots in "fig"!!!! ::ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhggg!!!!!::

(Now I wipe the spit off my mouth.)

Just give 'em to me.

And while you're at it, throw in one of those Dolce & Gabbana 'Miss Catch - Large' Lock Totes for a mere $2,550.

I'll be right back; I have to go rob a bank.


April said...

I drool over work boots the same way. Thankfully, my color choices are limited to black or tan. Sometimes there is a variation of brown to choose from. Lol!

Knit in the Northwest said...

Oh, I've been there too. Funny, that reminds me that I had a dream *last night!* about my "Linemen" boots I have. Those are some serious shit-kickers, no? I think they weight about 10 lbs. each, and kill my back, but hey, when ya wanna be tough (or make a grown man giggle nervously), nothin' like a pair of black Linemen and a wife beater.